Rosalind Russell, Restaurant Reviews and (Cold War) Russians

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Dear God - look at her outfit! There isn't a soul on this planet who would work it like Rosalind did. All other photos courtesy of random places on the internet

Dear God - look at her outfit! There isn't a soul on this planet who would work it like Rosalind did. All other photos courtesy of random places on the internet

Oh gurl it was my time of the month this week. Thankfully it was also restaurant review week here at 2B1S. That means I get to spend part of my week looking for a new restaurant that SAGL and I can try. This past Thursday he suggested we hit up the old theater in Columbia Heights for the showing of the original drag queen classic The Women. It's an all female cast staring Joan Crawford and Rosalind Russell. We took this opportunity to try the well established now closed Modern Cafe near the theater. 

Located a few blocks in from the river in Northeast Minneapolis the Modern Cafe offers a changing menu with the seasons. French inspired, American classics with a blue-collar vibe, I fell in love the second I walked through the door. I did not take it as a sign that there were only 8 other people at most dining around 7 pm. It was a Thursday after all. Outside of the fur lined winter curtain around the door this place looked like you were back at the lake and talking smack about Communist Russia. Small straight-back booths for when people were naturally skinny. Giant stuffed fish on the wall and and a full bar. I was in cafe heaven.   

The cocktail menu had everything I need to make mistakes, a Manhattan, French 75 and a Tequila Sunrise were my top three choices. And since I was feeling nostalgic given our movie choice I threw back a Tequila Sunrise. It went down easy. Like a White House intern. Too soon? That girl knows I have her back. We joke all the time. 

Anyway the food...

Seriously I couldn't make a decision. Naturally they had a burger just in case I needed to go for my standard. Thankfully the waitress made the decision for me when she started to talk about the burger special. Onion rings and barbecue sauce sold me. The cheese on top was just enough to put me over the edge. Oh! and the buttered bun. If you ever want get into my pants just butter my buns and heat them up. Gets me every time. 

My burger arrived in all its glory. And per usual I unhinged and inhaled. 

SAGL went classic diner and ordered the meatloaf. It arrived dripping in a wonderful mushroom gravy. He did comment that he ordered the half portion and if there a second time would go balls to the wall full portion.

Sadly we did not have time for a dessert. We quickly paid cash like it was 1950 and scooted up the street to see the movie.  

Now Sister and Sister's Husband lived one block from this gem for years. I don't know why they hate me so much and never told me about it. But this will reflect in next year's Hanukkah gifts. Mark my word.  

I say make the trip to Modern Cafe. If you want to make a night of it there are a multitude of wonderful bars all within a block. I even suggested to SAGL that he, Betsy Wetsy and I take a bus/bar tour of the area this Summer.  

Happy Summer Eating! What's on your Food To Do List now that it's nice out?!?!?

Book-It, Buses, and Beers

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Thank you docent for just barely getting the name of the museum in the photo and yes...those are GIANT fake frogs on the railing about to attack

Thank you docent for just barely getting the name of the museum in the photo and yes...those are GIANT fake frogs on the railing about to attack

Don't hate me. But I like Fall. I like Winter. And this weekend though it was sunny and nice out I was relieved to see a about a dozen leaves changing colors in the Minnesota countryside. That doesn't mean I am going to stop applying my daily sunscreen (because daily moisturizing is very important) or stop slowing my roll as I go by a Dairy Queen. But it does mean I am going to wax poetic about some fun times had this past Winter (early Spring really)with SAGL and Betsy Wetsy.  

Not so long ago Betsy Wetsy made the "most smartest" move a woman could make. She moved to Uptown in Minneapolis. And with her move she gained two free bus passes from her "generous" landlord. 

Now having never used the city bus (don't judge the poor thing - she comes from royalty I think) she reached out to her two pauper friends, myself and SAGL, to show her the ropes of the more pedestrian life. We decided to make a day adventure out of it.  

SAGL suggested we travel the foreign lands of Dinkytown. For those not in the know Dinkytown is where the kids who are striving for a higher education at the University of Minnesota live. There are bars, frat houses, fast food, theaters, herpes and other cultures there.

We met up at Betsy Wetsy's new pied a terre and ventured to the first bus stop. With the confidence of a q-tip with a new hip, Betsy Wetsy climbed the bus stairs and popped her cherry. Again.  

Ten minutes later and anticipation through the roof we arrived in Dinkytown. I had taken the pleasure of planning out our day, but keeping it secret so as to not spoil any of the fun. 

First on our riotous sojourn we hit the Bell Museum of Natural History.

It was a taxidermy DREAM! So many furs that could have been put to use as muffs. Shit - I mean it was so wonderful of those select Minnesotans to donate the dead animals to teach me more about life outside my bedroom window. Seriously though...pretty cool place. Check out these NSFW photos of our misadventures in learning.  

Yeah we were sober at this point in the day. We are just this much damn fun to be around.

Yeah we were sober at this point in the day. We are just this much damn fun to be around.

After visiting the kind people at Bell Museum we ventured to The Book House in Dinkytown - this joint could suck you in for hours. We're talking doubled up books on shelves and some nice Comic-Con  loving gents behind the counter. At this point I decided that we needed a challenge added to our adventure. I declared that we could not leave until we each purchased a book. 

Books in hand we needed protein STAT. Down the street we ventured to The Loring Pasta Bar.

More bar than pasta I have only been here once. They have Pimms and we all know that is a sure sign of a well established joint. Loring Pasta Bar is nice. The staff was wonderful (read:flirtatious with all of us). And the burger was enjoyable and to quote Betsy Wetsy, "I mean I gave up something for Lent. I gave up Vegetarianism". That and a few cocktails we had to hit the pavement again.  P.S. Betsy Wetsy is back on the Veg folks. She did not fall off the wagon.

This time we were going for ice cream. Annie's Parlour (google it - no website but people talk about it) was pretty damn good. We each ventured to try something different and walked out a little more gassy.  

Not to be outdone by a little gas. We circled the block to get things moving and stopped at our final destination.

The Kitty Kat Club was almost completely empty except for a really sad bachelorette party (it was like 4 pm - who starts a bachelorette party at 4pm?) and a few crazy locals. Thankfully this gave us the total attention of our barmaid. She was kind enough to throw away a nasty ass drink that she recommended and she also regaled us with readings from our Book House bought books.  All in all we were pretty well warmed up by the time we left The Kitty Kat Club. So much so we maybe got on the wrong but back to Uptown.

The lesson of this blog post fan(s). Venture out in your own city. Get drunk at 3pm on a Saturday. And buy books. I know you used to only read because you got a personal pan pizza from Pizza-Hut with Book-It. You can still do that. But now you just need to buy your own damn pizza.  Read people. First my blog. And then a book. And then the blog again. 

Party on...

Asian Fare, Aslan and Awesomeness

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This past week I had the pleasure of getting together with my awesome friend Sarah from yesandyes.org. If you are a regular reader of this golden nugget of goodness (my blog of course) you SHOULDN'T hesitate to visit hers. She's one up on the world.  

A few months ago she raved about this Vietnamese restaurant that I immediately forgot the name to. And once an inexcusable amount of time went by that I could do nothing but sheepishly ask her again what it was I just told her to meet me there for dinner so I could see it through her eyes. 

Trieu Chau is located in what I consider Eastern Wisconsin but I think is technically South Frogtown of the eastern wood of St Paul. Look for the fawn next to the lamp and ask for Aslan. He'll set you up. It's really at 500 University Ave West. Right on the soon to be running Green Line of the light rail system or the present day 16 bus line.  

The joint is small and pretty darn cute. Handful of tables and booths. Ever attentive staff. In fact Sarah was talked to like a true regular. Something I LOVE when going to a restaurant.  

Not one to normally nosh down on Vietnamese I followed Sarah's lead and enjoyed the Mock Duck with Mixed Vegetables. It was a spicy number with a bowl of rice the size of right moob (it is always been bigger than the left, why?). We unhinged jaws and took down our meal between a think tank like exchange of cool crap we've been up to these past few months. Her party attendance card was more full than mine, but I had tattooed little people stapling dolla bills to humans on mine.   

Very reasonably priced, I tossed a $20 their way for both plates and got some change back. 

While there the place kept a steady pace of people coming in and I vowed to venture back as soon as the weather is more cuffed biking pants and less chinchilla lined man panties. 

Take a bus, take a train (when they finish it), take your darn car. But certainly try out Trieu Chau and let us know what you think!

p.s. Trieu Chau has no internet homebase. but you have the name of the joint. I gave you the address and you have a smartphone. Use all that and you will be fine.

Carne Caliente, Carnies and Comedy by Stefon

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clearly not my photo from UNION - than you Crave Blog...also note the puzzle man lingering beyond the stapler act

clearly not my photo from UNION - than you Crave Blog...also note the puzzle man lingering beyond the stapler act

Time sensitive post here fans! I feel a little like Stefon from SNL with the latest greatest club in Minneapolis.  

Last night as I was in the midst of match making myself with a gentleman caller and I was challenged with planning a date that was better than "lukewarm". I found myself lazily surfing the interwebs (pre date-I'm not a douche) to see what this cold metropolis had to offer on a Friday night.  

Luckily I hit the jackpot with two options. 

First - an all ladies arm wrestling match at a dive bar in SE MPLS

Second - a tattoo convention at a downtown hotel

Again being slightly lazy I didn't want to figure out how to get to the dive bar in SE MPLS so opted for the tattoo convention (bonus selling point...on the entertainment line up was a little person with no arms and two hands where his arms would be. Keep in mind the ad said nothing of talent.  Just a picture of him).  

After meeting my date at the hotel bar we wandered into the convention hall. I slid the ticket seller our money and she kindly complimented our outfits (I'm sure it had nothing to do with the cold hard cash I just slipped her and everything to do with the wooden tie bar I was sporting).  Upon entering the main exhibit hall we immediately heard a roar of applause and awe. So naturally we followed. And thank God we didn't dawdle. We arrived just in time to see said little person on stage with his fellow "entertainer".  Please see the above photos to check out the dolla dolla bills being stapled, yes stapled, to the man on stage.  

The next act was straight out of the carnival circuit. We're talking the stuff you didn't see in Water For Elephants. Chainsaws were involved, sword swallowing, amazing punny jokes and a man completely covered head to toe in tattoos that looked like puzzle pieces.  

GO GO GO to the Minneapolis Tattoo Arts Convention this weekend!

http://www.villainarts.com/

Here is the food news of the night...

Sadly I have to report that King and I Thai of Minneapolis is no longer with us. I was jonesing for some serious 1980's-ish dining experience with some wonderful food and drinks. And like the nail through the nasal cavity of the puzzle man I was brought to my knees when I was told King and I closed. 

So my second option was UNION on Hennepin. I have now been there three times. Each time has been better than the last. I've twice now had the UNION burger. It's probably one of the best burgers I've had in town. And you know I love hot meat in my mouth. This burger (medium rare for you true burger lovers) has some nice American Cheddar, ample pickles, secret sauce (I'm calling it secret and just hoping the waiter didn't...all over my burger), fried onions, bibb lettuce and a poppy seed bun. 

The savory donut holes were wonderful the first time, only pretty good the second time. There's bacon and cheese involved. Not standard state fair fare.  

On the salad front you need to pull on your big boy panties and try the frisee salad without ham. Frisee is a great alternative to EVERY OTHER DAMN SALAD you've had in the last 6 months.  

I bathed in the fig spread from the cheese platter. 

And wanted to start a picc line for my malbec wine just to get it a little faster.  

TO RECAP: 

You must go to the downtown Hyatt this weekend to watch people get tattoos and see what a real carnival show is like. 

Second - give Union a chance. If anything we love them because you can make reservations for the enclosed rooftop dining room on Opentable.com.  

And for fun here is the best of Stefon - 

2 Piece, A Biscuit and Marlo Thomas

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Last night was a special night for Supper Sluts.  

On with the food...

Kelly's mom was visiting so she fried up some chicken. Best damn fried chicken I have ever had. I then had the pleasure of chasing it with some homemade Mac and Cheese. Don't get me wrong there is something wonderful about the whole block of cheese melted in with slightly al dente elbow noodles covered in black pepper - but who are we kidding...Kraft has the market on Mac and Cheese. Judge away.  

All of this was paired with an addictive like substance called Red Beans and Rice. Having steered clear of this for years while growing up I decided to forge ahead in the name of Black History Month in June and try it.

Could not get enough. Kelly added some flair with andouille sausage. I secretly wanted to take the pan and sit in the corner of invisibility while eating it all.  

The final shot of the night came in the form of Lemonade Pie. Now in my mind's imagination this is an old family recipe that I will someday harass Kelly for. It's pretty much what you imagine. A lemon flavored cream pie. When asked I learned that it involved "folding" of ingredients. This concept seemed to baffle some of the Sluts. My blood pressure rose just a bit. I got over it. But for those who care - when the recipe says to FOLD, DO NOT WHISK!

If you need a tutorial check this out...FOLDING 101.

Before I forget...I did some eating out recently.

First at Jasmin 26 (closed as of 12/25/2016). This little Vietnamese joint was pretty good. I sat at the bar, drank a cosmo like it was 1998 and really enjoyed the Spicy Beef Salad. Now the roommate went a few weeks later and did not have rave reviews. I got the feeling it was just mediocre. Either way I liked it. And it was out of my previous life's bubble.  

Second at The Depot Tavern at First Ave. I'm pretty sure this place used to be a check cashing establishment. Very much a normal bar/food appeal to it. Slight hipster twang based totally on the cute server who called me and every guy at the table "hun". Now based on the server's recommendation I got the curry salad. Not as wonderful as he claimed all previous diners said it was. From the looks of the other plates I think the food could be pretty good. Plus they had a burger special and anytime meat in burger form is specialized I'm sold. But what really cinched the deal on this joint was after the Storm of the Century set in and we were trapped for a while the staff put CaddyShack on the tv's for us to enjoy. Who wouldn't love a little furry gopher action while sucking down a Grain Belt Beer?

With that I am off to do domestic things. I found about 10 lb. of frozen zucchini in my freezer when I recently moved. How many ways can you cook zucchini?