Tomato, Toasted Cheese and Total Strangers

Now that Winter has officially set in it's safe to assume that we are all packing on the Winter Weight in order to survive. If you're like me you've sent off the extra christmas cookies with anybody that walks by the house. Or you're also like me and just unhinged your jaw and took down the whole freezer bag of them because, "if I eat them all now or spaced out over the next month it's the same amount of calories". Who are we kidding?  Eat the damn cookies. But when they are gone it's time to CLEANSE!

And what better way than by working out!  

Did you just throw up a little? I did.

Unlike my gym minded landlord and roommate, I am not going to the gym. It's just too cold out. And I do not have the stamina to wait out those resolutioners who don't have the ability to watch ESPN and use the elliptical without falling off.  

So my cleanse is starting with my food intake.

Tonight's dinner option was brought to us by my friend, Lady O of Boston. This grande Italian duchess is mother to none other than my electronic pen pal Anastasia Beaverhausen. I have never met Lady O of Boston but totally believe that she is a deity of Italian descent who wears only 3" heels, red lipstick and bathes in olive oil. A few days back Ms. Beaverhausen was telling me that she was making her mother's famous homemade tomato soup. Being a sucker for Campbell's I had ventured to ask what made it so good.  Ms. Beaverhausen simply sent me the recipe. There was nothing to it. And it was reason to use my immersion blender. Buy one (you know you want to).

So one night this week as the roommate slaved away working at the dining room table I pretended to break a sweat in the kitchen making dinner for us. As stated above the weather has turned nip hardening cold and the recipe was mind numbingly easy. Last minute I decided to pair it with some grilled cheese croutons enrobed in parmesan.  Totally light in calories.

Seriously though. The soup is not bad for you. The worst thing is this massive quantity recipe is 2T sour cream and 1T sugar.  

"She's been making it since I was a little girl. I don't know where she got the recipe, but I love it." - Anastasia Beaverhausen


Ofelia's Tomato Soup



Thanksgiving, Twin Peaks, and Tradition

for fun - me in the back brace, sally jesse glasses, extra high waisted light wash denim and ALL that hair

for fun - me in the back brace, sally jesse glasses, extra high waisted light wash denim and ALL that hair

Thanksgiving 2012 has come and gone. And while I am sitting on the Davenport adjusting my pants to speed in the digestion of my breakfast pumpkin pie and absorbing Twin Peaks (thank you Netflix - always looking out for me you are!) I got to thinking and we all know that thinking leads to trouble. 

When Thanksgiving comes around I am always in awe by the tales of tradition that get sparked when simply asked, "What are your Thanksgiving plans?". A truly food based holiday, Thanksgiving is an icon of one meal with variations on a food theme. Turkeys everywhere are cooked, brined, grilled, deep fried or served by some poor waiter who drew the short straw. Cranberries are boiled, sauteed, or shaken out of a can. Pumpkin pie is served watery, burned or out of the local bakery box. People go "home", refuse invitations, or make tacos alone at home (this happens, I heard a first hand account). And when the question is turned back on me I have a different answer every year.  

I don't recall much of a traditional Thanksgiving. Christmas has always been celebrated with my mother's family. Thanksgiving was at times with my father's side. It was never at a grandparent's house (those were mysterious apartments in "The Big City"). It was once at a corn field adjacent split level ranch in a Minneapolis suburb. Once or twice in a McMansion on the other side of town where the back brace I was sportin' for my scoliosis knocked out my cousins loose tooth. A few times at my mother's home. And my non family Thanksgiving with my Vermont roommate and her first child, a sarcastic orange cat named Jeter who I am convinced reprogrammed the DVR while I was at work. But nothing that screams tradition like going to my mother's every Christmas for 30 some years. 

So this year when asked, "What are your Thanksgiving plans?" I answered truthfully that I was hosting.

In a home that is not really mine, but graciously shared, and with old and new members of the family. It was a small gathering, only four strong. But I made a 22 pound bird. I needed to guarantee that myself and the roommate would be sick of turkey by the week's end.  The food person in me wanted to scour magazines and websites for new and improved versions of classic Thanksgiving recipes. It was when I heard my boss say she was making store bought boxed stuffing because it would otherwise be missed I realized that my traditional Thanksgiving was in the food. And even though the venue had changed once again, and with it the guests, the one thing that could stay the same was the food. 

I still scoured magazines and blogs, but looked for recipes that were simple and flavorful. Ones that I could write down on one note card and save again for later use. Or simply forget and fake it again next year.  

So I’ve realized that my Thanksgiving tradition is change in venue. Every year it is someplace different with different people. But the food stays the same and I know I will eat it. That will never change. 

Here are some Thanksgivings pasts:  

2012 - Playing Buzzword with my sister, brother-in-law, and mother. If my mother thinks you know the phrase she will just repeat the phrase progressively louder. Kind of like how some people think you need to yell at blind people to get your point across.

2011 - Having my broken heart tended to by friends in the worlds tiniest kitchen in Midtown Manhattan. They popped my French Onion Soup cherry. I taught them how to properly zest a lemon. And the new friend at the table wove HBO like tales about growing up in Brooklyn.

2005 - My first Martha Stewart turkey. Served on T.V. trays in my first apartment with my then roommate and a couple that broke up because he was cheating on her with his college professor. Ahhh...the memories. 

Sometime in college - trekking to The Minnesota Iron Range for a lakeside meal with my father's family. 

Even earlier in life - My Uncle Tom shoving olives up his nose and making me laugh until it hurt.

1979 - My First Thanksgiving. I called my mother to get confirmation on this and her response was as follows..."oh my god you've got to be kidding me! It was at my mother's. I can tell you that it was a houseful. And there was no lack of food and smoke and drink."

I heard on the radio this week that Thanksgiving is a time of thinking "what if?". That we spend time thinking about last year and what would be different if a left had been taken instead of a right. I will never stop wondering about the turn not taken. But now I look forward to my Thanksgiving tradition of change. And wonder with who and where my 2013 Thanksgiving will take place. Please feel free to contact me with invitations. I do cook and warm weather options will move to the top of the list.  

Now to keep true to my food blog. Here is what I served for Thanksgiving this year...

  • Brie with Onion Jam and Cranberry Compote

  • Cream Cheese with Jalapeno Jelly and Crackers

  • "Accidental Turkey" (recipe below - but pretty damn basic)

  • French's Green Bean Casserole

  • Parmesan Smashed Potatoes (just add fresh grated parm and use heavy cream and REAL butter for cripes sake. How often do you really make smashed potatoes to muck it up with skim milk and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter But Kills Me Slowly Because My Body Doesn't Know How To Process Fake Butter In A Yellow Tub? Use the real stuff.)

  • Homemade Cranberry Sauce and White Dinner Rolls Thanks to a meal exchange program with Work Wife. I scored with rolls and sauce and her kids are hopefully binging on my cookies. 

  • Homemade Herbed Stuffing Just a mix of dried multigrain and white rolls I acquired over a period of a few weeks and dried. Mixed with some fresh herbs, olive oil, celery, onions and chicken stock. Topped with more grated parmesan.  

  • Gluten Free Pumpkin Pie We had a gluten free guest drop out at the last minute. I wasn't in the mood to make a new pie crust so I just used the gluten free one I bought at Whole Foods.  Here's a list of Gluten Free Bakehouse Products available at Whole Foods (click HERE not here)

Below are a few recipes that I "used". If I made changes I let you know after the recipe. 

Onion Jam

RECIPE FROM SHUTTERBEAN

Makes 1 1/2 Cups

Cranberry Ginger Vanilla Compote

 

Accidental Turkey

RECIPE ADAPATED FROM INA GERTEN Food Network

Happy Thanksgiving.  It's now time for Christmas cookies. 

Keeping one more tradition alive...

To recap this Thanksgiving I am thankful for:

1. Just Joni, Sister and Sister's Husband for being cool enough to come to me for Thanksgiving. 

2. SAGL for being cool enough to let me use his house once again for a social function.

3. Sassy Brooklynite Karen for being healthy!

4. My lack of cable keeping me from having to listen to Al Roker provide commentary on a parade that is happening nowhere near my present location.



Meat, Schlong, and Cold(ish) Weather

Pre Caramelized Onions

Pre Caramelized Onions

In what is going to be a rare event I have decided to blog my meal live. I have decided to share as I go because 1. I am pretty sure that the meal is going to give me gout (mega points) and 2. I have seen the present episode of The Big Bang theory one too many times.  

As the temperature last week dipped into sweater season (fair-isle is pattern of choice this year) the roommate and myself were waxing poetically about cold weather foods. I went the soup route and had a pregnancy like craving for chicken wild rice. The roommate trumped my weak ass suggestion with wait for it...meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Not one to pass up the opportunity to handle meat I hopped my meat-loving ass onto my bike and got over to Lund's. With 2 lb of beef in my basket I got back to the bachelor pad quicker than a Lean Cuisine is microwaved and inhaled by that girl in the corner cube who actually should eat a real meal.  

With some inquire I determined that the roommate was NOT in the mood for a trendy healthy meatloaf. He wanted a traditional brick of meat. Not one with a family loaf recipe I did some digging. One of my secret treat yo self moments is having a subscription to Cooks Illustrated online. They work magic in that Massachusetts kitchen. I found the recipe below and pretty much fell in love as I mixed.  

As for sides...

I whipped up some horseradish mashed potatoes (we here at the pad have determined if you potatoes don't make you cry and clear your sinuses they are not worth eating).

And the obligatory stuffing. Boxed Stuffing. Sometimes you want it just how Grandma made it. 

Now I know that you are wondering why eat such a warm meal on a warm day? But while Howard is getting his schlong removed from the robot apparatus on Big Bang there is nothing better than the smell of meat ready to unload in my belly. 

Glazed All Beef Meatloaf

RECIPE FROM COOK'S ILLUSTRATED



>

...have hope and add more butter

Debbie on Acrylic by Troy Hardin

Debbie on Acrylic by Troy Hardin

If absence makes the heart grow fonder you must love me like I love finding the last Little Debbie Swiss Cake Roll my mother used to hide for our school lunches. Again I apologize about the time since our last chat but as my dear friend Betsy Wetsy says, “$h!t got weird”.

In the world of food styling it has been a very busy month. My new landlord will breathe a sigh of relief reading that. I’ve been working mostly on videos, teaching the world how to build things like tacos and meatloaves with the help of far more attractive on air talent than I. However, I was recently told by a photographer that with the right lighting I have the hands of a Millennial Mom .So now there are some photos out on the interwebs of my oddly maternal hands preparing food for a photo shoot.

The rest of my time has been slaving away in my own kitchen. Sadly for the most part I’ve been craving fried egg sandwiches like Snookie craves a tan. I’ve found the most amazing Sourdough Sandwich Bread at Lund’s (my local grocer of choice). The bread is the perfect thickness and has just a hint of tanginess that leads you to hope that maybe Lund’s actually bought a San Francisco sourdough starter.

I start by covering every square inch of one side of the each slice with my own clarified butter that I like to keep on hand next to the stove top. On a VERY hot cast iron skillet I slap down the sourdough and let magic happen. Just like my cookies I look for that golden ring of happiness that sears itself onto the edge of the bread. That coupled with the most perfect shade of amber fried butter in the middle make an orgasmic crispy outer shell for this sandwich. While all this is going on, I quickly fry up two eggs (I wish I could say they were cage free, organic freethinking libertarian eggs but this Working Girl still needs to pay the rent so they are just normal large eggs).

Now the true secret to the perfect fried egg sandwich is the Hellman’s Mayonnaise. Don’t go thinking you can use Miracle Whip, which is neither a miracle nor a whip. It always looks a little gelatinous to me. While Hellman’s Mayonnaise (straight up regular Hellman’s, not reduced fat, not olive oil, not light) is manna from above. Slather that $h!t on both sides of the bread that are not golden brown. Don’t be shy either. Real mayonnaise is totally calorie free (enormous fake wink). 

By this point your egg should be done. Flip it a couple times to make sure you get the yolk to the runniness that you like. I’m sure I’ll lose some readers with that. Make sure it’s good and hot and the runny yolk is fine. Though sometimes I like a fully cooked yolk. Totally depends on the mood I’m in. Finally stand over the sink and eat it like you will never have one again. Eating it over the sink removes all calories and gives the illusion that you are super busy and only have time for the Businesswoman’s Special a la Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion (don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about). 

So two Sunday's ago I took a few minutes out of my morning to make myself and the roommate a hearty breakfast. We spent the previous night out with our friend Madam Butterfly and needed to carbo load for the day. A few days prior I worked on a job with a chef who had some leftover cinnamon rolls. The chef gave me a couple and suggested I let them sit for a few days to stale a bit. Then slice them in half, soak them in the usual French toast fashion and griddle them up. This was probably one of the best ideas that I have ever heard. So cinnamon roll French toast made, little piggy fingers fried up with a side of scrambled eggs with spinach made for a great start to our day of rest.

Oh I almost forgot. Neither I nor the roommate had maple syrup on hand. So I took some local honey and mixed in a little caramel flavoring. Super sweet. May have been a ‘betes nightmare. But tasted pretty damn good. 

Now a note on frostings:

I’ve had a few requests for my Swiss Meringue Buttercream Frosting. I will share it with you but warn you it is not for everyone. It requires a lot of patience and understanding (which it sometimes doesn’t like to reciprocate). In fact about 5 months ago I was making a batch and without my knowing a bit of yolk got into my meringue base. Some bakers/chefs will tell you that if you keep whipping the base that all the problems caused by the yolk will go away.I  kept whipping and giving it the attention that it needed but in the end the yolk caused too much damage to my meringue. As hard as it was, in the end I had to toss out my frosting base. This just proved to me that I am still learning and mistakes are inevitable. Below is the recipe I follow (I openly admit to stealing it from somewhere – I just don’t know from where). Also the directions are as if you have all the tools I use. You should.

Stolen Swiss Meringue Buttercream Frosting

RECIPE STOLEN FROM SOMEWHERE - NOT SURE WHERE

 

Keep your new batch of buttercream covered on the counter for about a week if you’re not going to use it right away. Or you can freeze it. If you do freeze it, take it out at least one day in advance and allow to get to room temperature. Once it has softened it’s not going to look pretty. Give it a really good stir (again using those new Popeye arms) or put back into the stand mixer with whip attachment (don't be this guy).

So this was a super long post folks. I hope it makes up a little for my absence. And I will do my damnedest to be back in a week or so!



Supermarket Sweep, Semi Nudes and Bananas

My job has afforded me some extra time in the home kitchen as of late. Coupled with my discovery of more frozen remains (of the food variety, not Hannibal Lecter variety) deep within my side by side freezer I have been venturing down the path of quick breads. In the last few weeks I've consumed whole loaves of Spicy Zucchini Bread on multiple occasions (damn Ms. Stewart and her test kitchen minions).  

Late last night I ventured into my freezer with dirty thoughts of frozen cookie dough running through my mind knowing full well that I had baked off the final four (pretty sure that is a basketball reference about something that is interrupting my Big Bang viewing on TBS this week - Boyfriend take note I integrated sports and food). While basking in the glow of my Frigidaire freezer light I saw lounging about on the second shelf some frozen bananas that Boyfriend and I bought in a Supermarket Sweep-like shopping experience at Super Target a few weeks back. We've come to learn that Target reads our minds and sends us coupons catered to our future needs. Target knew we needed to make banana bread before we did.  

So this morning I was up baking banana bread while the half naked woman who lives across the courtyard and refuses to close the blinds of her bathroom and bedroom directly across from my kitchen got ready for work. Good choice on the black blouse Semi-Nude Neighbor.  

Coconut and Macadamia Nut Banana Bread

RECIPE FROM GOURMET TODAY 2009 EDITION

Makes two 8.5 x 4.5 inch loaves

Now I sprinkled a little brown sugar on top in honor of my best friend from high school that got caught eating brown sugar out of the bag with a spoon when she was a kid. I do that myself now when I need a me moment.  

Finally, loosely wrap one loaf on the counter so you can easily grab a bite giving you the energy to get from the kitchen to any other room in the house. Tightly wrap the other loaf in plastic wrap and place back in the side by side so Boyfriend has something to eat next week.