Dark Brown Sugar Cookies

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Dark Brown Sugar Cookies

This past Friday I found myself languished in an oversized booth of a new Thai restaurant painfully waiting for my Panang Curry to arrive tout de suite. It had been a draining week in the cube and I needed sustenance and ginger martinis fast! Upon arrival I unhinged my jaw, inhaled my curry, cleansed my palette with a second martini and flagged down the wonderful waitress so I could pay my tab. 

And in that slow motion moment in all great movies. She returned uttering that dreaded and demoralizing phrase, "Do you have another card? This one was DECLINED!!!!". Followed by a cackle one only sees in great Disney movies the moment the pre teen princess decides it's a good idea to trust her gut and go with the strange bitter hag she only just met.  

Panic set in until I realized that for some strange reason I was griping some crumpled up green receipts in my hand. It was then I realized that those were not receipts but cash! Not something I normally have. So I did what all my forefathers before did. Paid the lady and got on my way. 

One quick call to my bank later I was informed that my debit card had been "compromised". Apparently someone had tried to use it to buy a $299.04 movie on "m-video.com". Now I am not a cheap person but I don't pay for those kinds of movies. There are plenty of free sites. And to pay $299.04 for one I said to that phone banker, "daymn".  So they kindly stopped the transaction saving me from paperwork and the poor house.

However that leaves me cash poor for one week as I wait for my new card. Which lead me to think this is a perfect time to play the game Eat Only What's In Your Home and Not Buy Groceries For A Week. It's a fun game I sometimes play given my monthly (not weekly) pay check. It makes you think outside the box and not waste a thing. 

Naturally I needed cookies for breakfast today while I watched This Old House. And since I was using only ingredients presently located within the confines of my apartment I was limited.

The end result being Brown Sugar Cookies. There are few things I stock up on. Dark Brown Sugar is one of them. For some reason down here in North Carolina Dark Brown Sugar is not always at the grocery store. So when I see it I load up like I'm heading to the bunker for a few years. 

My breakfast cookies turned out well. And this recipe could not have been any easier. One bowl is all you need. Just two notes. The original recipe called for 2 Cups All Purpose Flour. I had to add almost another full cup to make the dough the correct consistency. And I also made the balls much smaller than the original 1/4 C stated in the recipe. 

Let me know below if you like this recipe! And please feel free to hit that share button to impress all your friends with them!

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DARK BROWN SUGAR COOKIES

RECIPE INSPIRED BY SERIOUS EATS

INGREDIENTS

14 T butter, melted

1 3/4 C packed dark brown sugar

3/4 t kosher salt

1 large egg

2 t vanilla extract

3 C All Purpose Flour

1 t baking powder

1/2 t baking soda

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Move oven rack to middle of oven and preheat to 350 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with parchment and set aside.

2. Mix together melted butter, 1 1/2 cups dark brown sugar, and salt until well combined. Stir in vanilla extract and egg until combined. Add flour, baking soda, and baking powder and stir until combined.

3. Divide into balls. Roll balls in remaining dark brown sugar and place on baking sheets. Press balls with fingers until about 1" thick.

4. Bake until cracked on top and golden ring of happiness is visible. About 9-11 minutes. Remove from oven. Let cool for 5 minutes on pan. Move cookies to cooling rack until cool to touch.

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Rusty Griswold's, Rhubarb Poppy Seed Cake, and ROLF

Hello Adult Russ Griswold. Would you like a slice of my cake?

Another week has come and gone. With no plans this weekend I was a complete waste. I am bloated, tired and achy.  

Oh dear I can't even type that with a straight face.

I am young, hung, and fabulous! What do the kids say these days? Rolling on the floor laughing? Jesus they don't make anything simple anymore do they?

So this weekend was busy. I got together with Work Wife and my new friend Cool Mom on Friday. Cool Mom is cool because she planned the ultimate European vacation for her kids recently. And it didn't involve going on Pig in a Poke. If you don't get that reference just shut your browser down now.  I openly admit to having a crush on all Rusty Griswold's save for that one in European Vacation. It has nothing to do with that scary scene with all the half naked women.  

Anyway the three of us went all out and had our Tarot Cards read. Needless to say I have a bright future. Anybody can have a bright future if you tip the card reader well enough.  

I followed that mini-adventure with a hot wedding date with Baby Mama. We adventured over to East Minneapolis and caught up with some old work friends while others exchanged vows. Then we slipped out and wrapped up our classic Midwestern romantical night with a stop at Lynden Soda Fountain. Now back in my day the soda jerk didn't wear sweatpants and a crop top. But who am I to complain as I unhinged and inhaled my mint chocolate chip cone. Worth a stop if you found yourself on a road trip out East.  

Now today I am been busy around the house. I had a bee in my weave to get some chili made and bake a cake. So help me God I don't know why I did it on such a muggy day but I am sure this counts towards my step aerobics class down at the Young Men's Christian Association. I may be a Jew but I know those Catholic boys like to work it out.  

So the chili and cake are done. "WHAT IS THE CAKE?" I am sure you are screaming right now. Well I was busy this morning in bed Pinteresting and came across a recipe for Rhubarb Poppy Seed Doughnuts. That sounded good to me but I had no intention of getting the fryer going. And I have a dinner guest tomorrow night so a cake was more appropriate.

Having not been to the grocer in a while I had to Frankenstein a cake together. Here is what I created. Based on many cakes throughout time. So I stole it from no one in particular.  

Rhubarb Poppy Seed Cake

INGREDIENTS: CAKE

1/2 C Unsalted Butter (room temp)

1 1/2 C Granulated Sugar

1 1/2 t Vanilla Extract

1 t Kosher Salt

3 Whole Eggs (room temp)

2 C + 2 T All Purpose Flour

4 t Baking Powder

1 C Almond Milk

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Prepare one 10" round pan with parchment paper and spray. Or two 6" rounds. Or for fun use your 10-12" cast iron pan.  If using cast iron coat with extra butter and flour inside. Set aside. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Cream together in stand mixer Butter, Sugar, Vanilla and Salt until fully incorporated. Add eggs one at a time until well mixed. In a separate bowl whisk together Flour and Baking Powder.

3. Alternate adding flour mixture and milk into butter mixture until fully incorporated.

4. Divide batter into pans if using multiple.  Bake until toothpick comes out clean. About 45 mins.

INGREDIENTS: Rhubarb Syrup

1 C Fresh Rhubarb, chopped

1 C Sugar

1 C Water

INSTRUCTIONS

Combine all three in small sauce pan and bring to boil. Reduce heat and continue to cook until syrup has thickened. Let cool completely until needed.

INGREDIENTS: FROSTING

1 C Unsalted Butter

1/4 C Vegetable Shortening

1 t Vanilla Extract

4-5 C Powdered Sugar

Rhubarb Syrup (as desired)

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. In stand mixer combine Butter, Shortening, Vanilla and 2 cups of the Powdered Sugar. Continue to add powdered sugar until you get the consistency you desire. Using the Rhubarb Syrup to thin out the frosting and more powder sugar to thicken.

2. Once cake has cooled, poke repeatedly with toothpick to create a series of tiny holes in cake. Very carefully pour a small amount (no more than 2 T) of the rhubarb syrup on the cake.

3. Now frost the cake as desired and sprinkle with poppy seeds to decorate.

Don't binge eat the whole cake if you are getting drug tested at work any time in the near future.  

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