BATTENBERG CAKE
/Things that happened this weekend, the Fourth of July, 2016:
1. I got a haircut while drinking a canned white wine spritzer.
2. I "played" my first game of strip poker with a Hair Stylist, a Brewmaster, a Lesbian, and an Executive Chef. Thankfully my days at J Crew taught me well and I was well layered even on a 90+ degree day.
3. I attended a Miss Gay North Carolina prelim. It was Drop Dead Gorgeous meets Priscilla Queen of the Desert. One queen had a broken arm. Sadly she didn't win.
4. At a pool party I watched a fully grown British Man with a tramp stamp do a medley of Tina Turner hits while wearing a soaking wet fedora and holding a Chambong (a champagne flute fitted like a beer bong). Look it up. You won't be sorry.
And it was this same British Man with a tramp stamp that got me into the kitchen this past week. Some time ago at a random meeting in my small Southern city his request for a Battenberg Cake was made. Given that his girlfriend is in charge of my current hair management system (aka helping me embrace my follicle shortcomings) I thought it best to see what I could do.
With our Independence Day approaching I thought no better time to make this classic British dessert. I figured the poor man not only has a tramp stamp (for an honorable famille reason so we really do appreciate it) but here he was in a country that, over 200 years ago, put his country in a corner, like Baby.