"T", "A" and "P"

Sisters from hopefully the same Mister - dressed as Charlotte and Mrs. Flax from Mermaids (a movie about appetizers)

This post is completely out of sequence with reality but I am aware that some of you want to know the dets of the partay that went down at Casa De Roommate a few weeks back...

Here's the backstory: 

A few months ago I was food styling one day and catching up with another stylist (read: gossiping). The other stylist was working on some completely nutritious food involving hot dogs and refrigerated dough. Not one to mix my nitrates with canned bread I didn't think much of it.  

Until....

The Roommate suggested we throw a "welcome to the neighborhood party". I'm over throwing parties that honor me. It gets weird the third time. Trust me. So I countered The Roommate's offer of a party with a moment of pure genius.  

A TACKY APPETIZER PARTY

What's a T.A.P. you ask? A T.A.P. is the best idea ever. We scoured old cookbooks and magazines to make what I feel was an Old Country Buffet worthy spread. I tapped my resources and got some rich recipes out of the 1954 edition of The Betty Crocker cookbook.

I'm pretty sure I read a section of the book instructing me how to make my man happy when he gets home. I thought I was up to date on my happy man making skills.  But according to Betty I need to have a cocktail BEFORE he gets home. Loosen me up a bit after a hard day of homemaking. Or before a hard night of homemaking I guess.  

So The Roommate and I got to work. We cleared off his dining room table and set up the slow cookers. That's right plural slow cookers. We were rocking three of them.  They had a corner of the room dedicated to themselves.  

First let me say it was a who's who of Benjamin Plante blog celebrities.  We were lucky enough to get Work Wife, Irish Car Bomb, Jeggings, Kelly, Camp Counselor, The Roommate, Betsy Wetsy, iMatt, and Sister.

Of course there were a handful of others. And we loved having them all but it's all about the me. 

On to the food!

Diane was kind enough to keep her judgments to herself

Yes. A bucket of croutons. 

Mini Chili Cheese Dogs - Kosher Meat Folks - Non Kosher Snack

Veggie pinwheels because Betsy Wetsy is vegetarian.

A suggestion of work wife - those green balls are not meat free

The Roommate says "cowboy" and "caviar" don't belong in the same sentence - therefore it's tacky (and was my breakfast, lunch and dinner for three days)

state fair boats and biebs - tacky squared

A few people brought to share. Namely my friend Apache Chief (he's tall and if you get that reference you can keep reading my blog - if not G.O.O.G.L.E.).  Apache brought the best tacky appetizer possible. A half eaten bag of blue chips, half a box of wheat thins and some semblance of a dip. That he requested I return the container. Just to be tacky. 

winner best in show - and notice the giant red tub full of slutty slush (I very much suggest following the link to slutty slush)

For dessert we went all out. While The Roommate and I wandered the aisles of the grocery store I struggled with what to make for dessert. Naturally I had a jello mold setting up in the icebox.  But for a back up I wanted something that might clog the pipes up. That's when I stumbled upon a wonderful end cap of Little Debbie Snack Cakes.  

Dessert was a nice spread of Zebra Cakes. Funny thing about the Zebra Cakes.  Everyone one silently turned their noses up as they assessed the food situation. They think I didn't see. But I did. And you know what? There wasn't a single Zebra left on the plate by partly close. Now mind you I could have taken the whole platter into the shower and eaten them in one sitting but I didn't. I let all the little Simba's out there in the living room sneak in and devour those Zebra Cakes like it was open hunting in the African wild. And there is no better sight than watching a mildly drunk friend saunter over and swipe up that cello wrapped lump of "food" and take it down in two bites thinking nobody is watching.  

damn slush - ZEBRA CAKES!

The party raged on and soon all the crock pots were empty. After getting the last straggler out the door and a few house guests to bed I got to cleaning. Gotta make my keep around here. No really. I do.  

I joke. I just cringed at the idea of missing CBS Sunday Morning because I was scrubbing slow cookers.  

Overall a tacky success! Did we miss any great appetizers? Let me know so I can judge and then secretly make it then eat it in the shower while nobody is watching