Bread and Butter Pickles

View fullsize

Bread and Butter Pickles

Well it's Pride Season. As parades, tank tops, and glitter rain down on our nation's streets this weekend my mind naturally turns to pickles.

Over time I have gone through many pickle phases. When I was younger all I wanted was regular sized dill pickles. There was a time in my life that only large pickles would do. You know the kind that are usually found in deli's or bars. Then for a short period of time I thought I wanted quantity with an edgy quality. So it was spears all the way. 

In my most recent incarnation I have been hooked on Bread and Butter. Country style. Thick with a bite but sweet when you swallow.  

There is a pickle for every occasion. And an occasion for every pickle.  Which is how I found myself making pickles all weekend. Gonna start Summer off right. 

Happy Pride. 

---

Bread and Butter pickles

recipe by Martha Stewart

ingredients

2 lbs Kirby cucumbers, sliced crosswise 1/4 inch thick

1 medium White Onion, sliced 1/4 inch thick

1 cup Ice Cubes

2 tablespoons Coarse Salt

2 cups Apple Cider Vinegar

1 1/2 cups Sugar

3/4 teaspoon Whole Mustard Seeds

1/2 teaspoon Celery Seeds

1/2 teaspoon Whole Black Peppercorns

1/4 teaspoon Ground Tumeric

instructions

1. In a large bowl, combine cucumbers, onion, ice cubes, and salt. Toss to combine. Let stand for 3 hours. Drain. Rinse well, and drain again.

2. In a medium saucepan, combine vinegar, sugar, mustard seeds, celery seeds, peppercorns, and turmeric. Bring to a boil. Add cucumber mixture, and return to a boil, stirring occasionally.

3. Ladle pickles into clean jars. Let stand until cool. Cover, and store, refrigerated, for up to 1 month.

---

---

Salami Hummus Sushi

View fullsize

Sushi: Salami and Hummus

If you are a regular reader you know that last week I was removed of my debit card by a nice person out in the world that wanted to borrow it. And with that temporary change to my wallet I challenged myself to spend the next week cooking with items that I had in my home with no trips to the grocery store. 

While one evening perusing the social media mega god Facebook I saw a friend post his evening meal. He dubbed it a Salami Taco. Simply a round of salami with a thin layer of hummus, topped with rice, and folded for ease of eating. He also stated that it was, "also kinda sushi".

The resulting negative support of his "friends" got me thinking of what dire straits I would be in with my cooking challenge. Then I realized I, too, had salami, hummus, and rice in my larder.

As my salami was still uncircumcised I got to thinking of his sushi comment.

I do love sushi.

And that is how I ended up dining on Salami Hummus Sushi. Luckily I had some chipotle hummus to give it some life.  

Sometimes all you need is a little push to get you up the summit.  

---

SUSHI RICE

RECIPE COURTESY OF ALTON BROWN

ingredients

2 C sushi or short grain rice

2 C water, plus extra for rinsing rice

2 T rice vinegar

2 T sugar

1 T kosher salt

instructions

1. Place the rice into a mixing bowl and cover with cool water. Swirl the rice in the water, pour off and repeat 2 to 3 times or until the water is clear.

2. Place the rice and 2 cups of water into a medium saucepan and place over high heat. Bring to a boil, uncovered. Once it begins to boil, reduce the heat to the lowest setting and cover. Cook for 15 minutes. Remove from the heat and let stand, covered, for 10 minutes

3. Combine the rice vinegar, sugar and salt in a small bowl and heat in the microwave on high for 30 to 45 seconds. Transfer the rice into a large wooden or glass mixing bowl and add the vinegar mixture. Fold thoroughly to combine and coat each grain of rice with the mixture. Allow to cool to room temperature before using to make sushi or sashimi.

No Knead Onion Rolls

View fullsize

No Knead Onion Rolls

The past week I was graced with the presence of family for a whole week. And while most of my friends don't talk to their family members but maybe once in awhile. I talk to mine almost daily. I think it's mostly so they know I haven't pulled a full Miranda Hobbes and am naked on my bathroom floor hoping one of my stoned neighbors hears my cries. 

But anyway, my family was in town for a visit. And while I may not have kids, a husband, or even a pet to use as bait, I do have food. Over a period of 6 days we worked our way around 1000 miles of North Carolina paved roads trying to squeeze in as much eating as possible. 

Between BBQ take out, fried chicken hideaways, and mountain breakfast we consumed our fair share of carbs. Which got me thinking about bread. Namely how much I love it, and why do we have it at every meal.

Wherever you go there is bound to be some version of bread offered before a meal. A basket of flatbread is always the most disappointing. And only redeemable if accompanied by some cheeses or compotes. Always appreciated is a warmed pre sliced loaf of airy sourdough. The trick then being whether or not to risk filling up before the meal arrives.

Down south you are often presented with a biscuit slathered in butter and jam. Just as pleasing as any of the aforementioned options. Most desireable with a bloody mary and eggs. 

As a child I recall seeing slices of Roman Meal being passed around the table. Occasionally a crescent roll or biscuit that involved beating a cardboard tube against the counter. Fresh homemade bread was not something I saw regularly. And it wasn't until I was balls deep in a variety of flours at baking school that I realized how easy and fulfilling it was to make my own bread. 

I love making my own bread so much that I once gifted it on a first date instead of flowers. In hindsight I should have given the flowers. I would have gotten more out of the marble rye. 

Living alone I don't make my own bread much any more. Only because I have a tendency to slice into it fresh out of the oven and not move until there is only enough left for me to make a sandwich for dinner with. However, when I do make my own I am mesmerized by the magic that happens and the happiness it brings. 

Flour, water, yeast mixed with some aggression related pounding of the dough and a few hours later you are in bloated bliss.  

This week I am in need of rolls. And have challenged myself to use everything in my freezer/cupboards/pantry before hitting the grocery store. So with half a purple onion and some poppy seeds I made the below No Knead Onion Rolls. With only slightly burned finger tips as I rushed to devour one fresh from the oven. 

No Knead Onion Rolls

Recipe from Real Simple

INGREDIENTS

3 tablespoons olive oil

3 medium onions, finely chopped

1/4 cup plus 1 teaspoon granulated sugar

kosher salt

2 0.25-ounce packages active dry yeast

2 large eggs

6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) unsalted butter, melted, plus more, at room temperature, for the pan

6cups all-purpose flour, spooned and leveled, plus more for shaping the dough

Instructions

1. Heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onions, 1 teaspoon of the sugar, and ½ teaspoon salt and cook, stirring occasionally, until golden brown, 15 to 18 minutes.

2. Place 2 cups warm tap water (105° to 115° F) in a large bowl; sprinkle with the yeast and let stand until foamy, 4 to 5 minutes. Whisk in the eggs, 4 tablespoons of the butter, the remaining ¼ cup of sugar, and 1 teaspoon salt. Add the flour and three-quarters of the onions and mix until a sticky dough forms. Brush the top of the dough with the remaining tablespoon of oil. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place until doubled in bulk, about 1 hour.

3. Butter a 9-by-13-inch baking pan. Punch the dough down. With well-floured hands, form the dough into 16 balls and place in the prepared pan, spacing evenly. Sprinkle with the remaining quarter of the onions. Cover the pan loosely with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place until doubled in bulk, 30 to 40 minutes.

4. Heat oven to 400° F. Remove the plastic wrap and brush the dough with the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter. Bake until the rolls are golden, 18 to 22 minutes (tent with foil if the tops brown too quickly). Cool in the pan for 5 minutes before serving

***only changes to the recipe I made involved using 1/2 of a large purple onion in place of the 3 medium suggested and sprinkling poppy seeds to the top of the rolls just before placing in oven

Yes and Yes Book Club: Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

View fullsize

Tater Tot Hotdish

Get your weeping cloths out kids! This month over at Yes and Yes Book Club I cover Rainbow Rowell's Eleanor & Park. Dive into teenage angst and emotionally eat some Tater Tot Hotdish that I made to help! 

Click here to head over to Yes and Yes to get the recipe and my two cents!

Super Bowl Party Friends, Shaped Cheese Balls, and Sitting in Dog Sh!t

Misshapen but bacon covered Super Bowl Cheese Ball

One year ago on this national holiday that is the Super Bowl I stood at the elevator outside my apartment door debating whether or not to attend the building sponsored party being held in the pimped out lounge. I hesitated, because at my age (early to late 30s), I already have a set a friends I told myself. Making new friends isn't always easy past...well whenever. That aside, the guilt set in as I had promised my mother I would go and I had maybe told that bright eyed leasing agent the day before "oh suuuuure I'll come", wink wink. 

One year has gone by and I just wrapped up my football shaped cheese ball to bring to this year's party. You know I love a shaped cheese ball. Check out my last one here. 

How painful was that first Super Bowl party in the lounge? On a scale of 1 to 10 I would say I have had gas pains worse than my experience feigning interest in a sport I know nothing about while trying not to binge eat the questionable crudite that was on display.

However, in the end I met a few people. People who over the course of the subsequent year have become great friends. And even though there are days that I am convinced I live in a college dorm, I find great relief when I pull in at the end of a hard day knowing that two floors down, around the corner, or across the hall I have people I can count on.

When I think of football I instantly go back to that rainy day at Woodland Junior High playing touch football with 30 of my never to be seen again friends. That day as I, well basically moved in some direction, slipped on the wet grass and landed flat on my backside. This story only really hits home the next day when I went to go get my still damp gym clothes out of my locker and realized that what I had really slipped in was a big ol' pile of dog shit. Imagine that smell. Not my usual Gautier Le Male. 

If you had asked me anytime before I sat down to write this I would have told you team sports have done nothing to me in the way of friendships. Nobody offered me fresh clothes to wear the day I marinated in poo. I don't recall any of my badminton partners. Nor my square dance partners. And where I come from square dancing is a team sport.

All over the internet there are articles about the benefits of team sports and building friendships that last lifetimes. It may only be one year in, but I hope the friendships forged at last years Super Bowl party last a lifetime. And if I have to I will bribe them all with cheese balls. 

Bacon Cheddar Ranch Football Cheese Ball

RECIPE MORPHED FROM VARIOUS ONLINE RESOURCES

INGREDIENTS

2 - 16 Oz Packages Philadelphia Cream Cheese (room temperature)

1 Packet Ranch Dip Seasoning

1/4 Cup Shredded Sharp Cheddar Cheese

3 Tablespoons Pimentos

1/2 lb Bacon of choice

Shredded Mozzarella

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Mix together cream cheese, ranch dip seasoning, shredded cheddar cheese,and pimentos.

2. Shape into football on serving platter, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 1 hour to overnight.

3. While cheese is setting up in refrigerator cook 1/2 lb bacon until crispy. When done, set on paper towels to absorb excess grease. When cooled crumble bacon into larger pieces.

4. Let cheese come to room temperature and then gently cover football with bacon crumbles.

5. Using small pieces of shredded mozzarella create the "laces" of the football.

6. Mingle.

---

---