Turkey Sandwich

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Turkey Sandwich with Mull of Kintyre Cheddar

2016 wrapped up with a bang (and not the good kind) and all I wanted was a damn turkey sandwich.

After dropping a teary eyed friend off at her apartment in the wee first hours of 2017 I raced home to peel off the champagne stained clothing, pulled out the building blocks of the simplest and yet so satisfying of sandwiches, and sat in silence to mentally recap what had gone down the previous 365 days. 

Things I Learned This Year Living In The South:

1. Life plans don't get derailed. They get rerouted. You just have to be smart enough to read a map to get back on track. 

2. There is something orgasmic about a well poached egg. 

3. To quote the great Chi-Chi from To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything Julie Newmar, "No one is ever so rich as to throw away a friend." Some come and go. However brief their time with you it happened for a reason. 

Turkey Sandwich with Mull of Kintyre Cheddar

FEEDS ONE

CLICK BELOW FOR SOME PREVIOUS YEARS SHENANIGANS

RESTAURANT REVIEWS AND MYSTIC PIZZA

Sausage Balls

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Things I Learned This Week I Living In The South: 

1. There is a transgendered black cat on the other side of town who was born Raj, but after a series of some cat related infections and a quick surgery, now goes by Rajine (rah-gene). 

2. The addition of mayonnaise to mashed potatoes is not as odd as it sounds. And is pretty damn good. 

3. Though no snow is on the ground you can still enjoy a Christmas parade as long as the cinnamon whiskey is flowing, the pom pom winter hat is on head, and a man dressed as a giant piece of toast is wandering the streets.  

This past week I have heard the term 'sausage balls' no less than a dozen times. Apparently the holiday season does not begin until the whole of North Carolina has their hands (and mouths) on some balls.  Naturally I had to get in on this. 

Sausage Balls

RECIPE INSPIRED BY BETTY CROCKER

Buffalo Turkey Open Faced Sandwich

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Buffalo Turkey Open Faced Sandwich

It has been two days since Thanksgiving. And after multiple trips to the treadmill, a few jaunts around downtown on foot, and the occasional visit to the bathroom I am starting to feel normal again. 

I know, I know. Eating that double wide slice of cheesecake just hours after the main event wasn't the "most smartest" thing to do. But damn I needed some emotional support as I binge watched my post-apocalyptic teen movies that night. Nothing says "being thankful" than watching a bunch of super pretty young adults try and set a new social standard while fighting off the bad guys in perfectly pressed couture.  

Which brings me to today. The Saturday after Thanksgiving. Normally I would be in the throes of creativity and despair trying to figure out how to use the remaining 10 pounds of turkey, metric ton of mashed potatoes, and the now self aware cranberry Blob like creature living on the top shelf of the ice box. 

But instead I was sent home with a (double wide) slice of cheesecake, a generous slice of Hummingbird Cake (see my post on that here), and about 1 pounds worth of white meat in a Panda Express To Go box. The hostess was able to buy 1000 of these to go boxes for $.50 at the flea market three years ago. That is not an exaggeration. 

And because I never seem to have anything worth shaking a stick at (or a desire to use my car to get to a grocery store) I fell back to the classic game of chance and used only what was in my larder. I suggest you do the same. It's amazing what one can make when pushed to the limits of laziness.  

Please note this is one of those recipes that has no exact amount. Add cautiously and then generously as you see fit. 

Buffalo Turkey Open Faced Sandwich

RECIPE INSPIRED BY LAZINESS (ME)

***Note 1. Texas Pete did not sponsor this. It is just my hot sauce of choice and is always in my swag bag. 

***Note 2. This recipe is not specific and hopefully can be used as inspiration for any of the ingredients left over from Thanksgiving. Don't like Sourdough? Use White or Wheat. Don't like Muenster Cheese? Use a nice sliced Mozzarella or Cheddar. Don't like open faced sandwiches as they openly mock everything that is SANDWICH? Put another slice on top. 

NEED MORE REASON TO CLEAN OUT YOUR ICE BOX? CLICK BELOW!

CHOCOLATE CAKE AND 'MAN'OPAUSE

FRANKENSTEIN CAKE AND JOHN CANDY

ZUCCHINI OH SO MANY WAYS

Hummingbird Cake

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It's Thanksgiving time again!

Earlier this holiday season I found myself at the crossroads of Do I or Don't I go 'home for the holidays'. On one hand I was mentally waxing nostalgic about past Thanksgivings at home over the river and through the woods. On the other hand I was thinking I do not have it in me to be away from my current home for upwards of 3+ weeks (when factoring in Christmas/Hanukkah/New Years). 

So to ponder my options I put in the holiday classic To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything Julie Newmar starring the forever missed Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, John Leguizamo, and the most drag queen woman of them all Stockard Channing. How could I go wrong watching this epic of a travel/family story? This lead me down the online shame spiral of reading up on my previous Thanksgivings. I was able to pick my favorite. I won't disclose as to keep the infighting down to a minimum among my friends.  

It was around the time that Patrick Swayze's character, Vida Boheme, was kicking the ass of some abusive, drunk, country husband (while in heels and full makeup) I remembered my Thanksgiving Come To Jesus I had a few years back. My Thanksgiving tradition is change of venue! And this year I was again keeping with tradition. 

This afternoon I will be breaking bread with my hairdresser, her home goods haunted house loving mother, her doomsday prepper of a father, and any and all other cast of characters they have invited. 

To try and blend in with the natives I have decided to bring a Hummingbird Cake. Invented in Greensboro, North Carolina sometime last century I have been told it's a Southern classic. Imagine a giant banana bread cake covered in cream cheese frosting. Now that you have mouth orgasmed let's move on. 

Again with traditions...

To recap this Thanksgiving I am thankful for: 

1. The new friends who have embraced my dead heart and invited me into their homes for the holiday. 

2. The family who I know will always have a place for me when I decide to go home for Thanksgiving. 

3. Patrick Swayze and Stockard Channing teaching us that we are all drag queens.

4. And cream cheese. 

Hummingbird Cake

RECIPE ADAPTED FROM SOUTHERN LIVING

Cream Cheese Frosting

RECIPE FROM ME AND SOME OTHER FRIENDS

Roasted Acorn Squash with Fennel Sausage and Apples

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Roasted Acorn Squash with Fennel Sausage and Apples

It's been one of those weeks. 

Things I Learned This Week While Living In The South: 

1. Dusting off talking points from your youth to validate your fear of being persecuted based solely on your sexual preference or religious beliefs and explaining these to your more conservative Southern friends drives one to seek solace in failed fudge that is housed in your 3AM snack box (otherwise known as my refrigerator).  

2. While calmly examining suspicious moles you find a sense of great relief comes over you when you realize that it is not an oddly shaped mole. But it is in fact just a speck of the above mentioned fudge that has somehow managed to secure itself to your abdomen.   

3. There is a soon to be opened amazing burger place in downtown Winston Salem that due to friends of friends you were able secretly hang out in while binge eating nachos, drinking beers, and watching someone across the table act out "crack whore" in a new adult mash up of Pictionary and Charades. 

And because it is Fall and that requires Fall like foods I found myself this morning roasting squash and watching my stories on the tv.  

Roasted Acorn Squash with Fennel Sausage and Apples

Side note: Fennel Sausage was bought at my local grocery store - Lowes Foods. Find the amazing list of sausages available here. I used the No. 2 The Godfather for this recipe. It's a pork sausage seasoned with fennel, anise, salt and pepper.